This morning as I was browsing pictures and websites I was contemplating the fine line between inspirational and intimidating. I have found that if I look at too many completed buildings then I get intimidated. I start to think that it is way to massive and complicated for me to do. And it is a massive job. But I CAN do it. I realised that if I look at it as smaller jobs within the big one it isn't as scary, and that doing things like building a frame that aren't jobs traditionally done by women will be hugely satisfying and empowering. And all this led to one massive realisation. That a huge part of my fear was because society doesn't see building a house as something I can do - as a woman, as a single mother, as an individual person. Building a house is seen as something you hire people to do. Just like making clothes, spinning wool, milking a cow, making cheese and butter... So many things that once upon a time would have been done for ourselves, by ourselves but we are now so divorced from that they are seen as mystical things that only those qualified are able to perform (which would lead to a rant about childbirth but that is for another time and blog ;) ).
Whenever I mention to people that I want to build my own house, with my own hands, the reaction is overwhelmingly negative - even from people in the process of building thier own houses. Most of them got people in to do the framing etc and find the thought of me building a load bearing cob house to be completely outside the realms of reality. I have internalised this to a great extent and it has been colouring my intentions and ambitions. Now that I have realised this though, it won't hold me back any more!
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